good progress

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

yessza, I m coming back yaw. not with the sad mode anymore.

today, I am pretty good with everyone around. yes, family support is just a miracle to me.

they know, aku ni stok lembik lembik sikit. and they are just very caring.

especially my mother and sister.

It really makes me feel that I m not left alone by the husband errr. tapi dia nak cri rezeki kann.

my sister and my mother talk about marriage more than before with me, teach me how to deal with it.

make me feel motivated actually.

semalam, when I got back from mother in law's house, I cried in front of my mother.

guess what she did?

gosok-gosok belakang ni cakap jangan sedih.

hehe, I really thank to Allah for those people who exist in my life. They are still there for me. ups and downs. nampak mcm annoying kan duk berendam air mata sbb suami tinggal.

seriously, this is my first time, I got no experiences with firdaus lama-lama macam ni. I am sorry if I annoyed anyone with this overmanje feeling. aku rasa sebelum ni aku tak manja mcm ni sgt kot.

yes marriage is beautiful eventho my marriage is not a fabulous marriage. I got sponsors, I got discount and so on to make it happen, after all, this is a fate from Allah.

Thank you dear husband, I owe you many things. I should say this because now he is the one yang menadah bahu kiri, tanggung dosa diri ini.

the same thing my parents do before I got married. I respect them, and I want to respect my husband too.

I really love him, like I do to my parents.

marriage is beautiful, we cannot say it by words. But it really is.

p/s: my husband, if you read this, I would like to tell you how you are trying very much to be a good husband. Thank you so much. you may not be perfect, but your try make me feel grateful to Allah.

Alhamdulilah, and  missing you....

a start

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

hari ni husband dah balik labuan. gittew. ok sila tukar mode sedih sebab blog owner tgh sedih.

frankly speaking, I never thought after kami kahwin, the feeling is a total different compared to before kahwin.

ingat kan same je*dushdushdush*

yela, sebab kami mana biasa duk dekat lama-lama. maksud saya stay satu tempat same2. sebab bila sy di UPM, die di trganu bla bla bla.

of course, I wont let this become one of my problem anyway..

but husband is husband.

he told me,

-saya lihat awak sebagai rezeki dari Allah yang dtg dalam hidup saya.

hmm sometimes, I wonder, this guy, is not a romantic type sume but I love to remember dia punya pesan.

bukan bermaksud diri ini obsessive, tp it is one way to reduce the pain inside my heart while he is not around.

in this 2 weeks, pegi mana-mana semua same2, makan, lepak, tgok cerita.. that's why terkesan sgt..

feeling gloomy.but still, daus wont tolerate if I cry, dia akan diam je. cannot expect ada org pujuk ke apa.sebab daus tak suka share sgt bila dia rasa sedih same, atau rasa tak selesa...

tapi bila dapat msg die kejap tadi,

I continue crying...

"saya rasa blur je dunia, sebab isteri saya tak ada.. i miss her"

Ya Allah... make me strong..... this is just a start.

study

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

ape kabau sume orang? 

free beno gaye idup aku bole update blog hari-hari plak. haha. xdela, arini suamiku pergi main futsal, so, malam ni takde geng nak ajak gaduh. 

kadang-kadang fikir nervous jgk eh nk smbung study balik. back to basic katenye.

moral support, Insya Allah okey. dulu utamakan parents, skarang daus la jwb nya. so far both parents n daus bg permission dan sokongan.

semoga dipermudahkan ye ayu ! :D

11 hari

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

after a very long pause, hari ni dapat jugak aku tulis blog. gittew.

while my husband is sleeping and berdengkur-ing besides me, so aku bole la buat keje-keje sambilan.

dia stok tak suke aku main internet masa dia ade, so cam x selesa sgt. fokus pada dia katenye. jom muntah berjemaah. tp dia baik, jangan riso. kihkih

dah 11 hari pun hidup bersama, merajuk dah ada rekod dh. tp so far, die still mcm zmn2 couple dlu. that's why aku ckp kt mak, tak rse sgt kawen sbb daus still mcm dlu. maksudnya still tak perlu amik berat sgt die nak makan ape, kadang2 cepat je die amik sndirik nasik sbb tau aku kene masak.

Alhamdulilah setakat ni.

cuma, aku rse tenang betul. ye la , bila dh kahwin ni berjemaah solat sama-sama. bercerita, susah same2 sbb g jalan2 due org je jauh2. x biase kan sebelum ni jalan jauh same2. honeymoon kt pahang je pon tp dh name first time mmg jakun la budak brdua. hahaha. siap tnye sijil nikah dh bawak ke belom.

perasaan tu rasa indah jugak la. cume ade certain2 benda kite kene follow guidelines. mcm pergi umah mertua, kene buat air, layan tetamu sume.. aku kan cam kureng sket bab2 cmtu. so I ve learnt lots of thing about that.

aku bersyukur jgk, daus jenis x kisah aku masak apa. sume die bantai, kes nya jd gemuk sbb melantak sume makanan. aku sgt happy bile die makan banyak2 yg aku masak. 

dia pun banyak pesan, walaupn dh kahwin, kene jaga tatasusila, jodoh milik Allah jd tak boleh jd riak, kene bersederhana setiap masa. dan suami ni adalah jambatan kita untuk menuju Allah S.W.T.

dan2 je ttiap ari aku mintak maaf , nak masuk syurga kannnnn.

Insya Allah :)

seminggu

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

seminggu lagi maka ini jumaat terakhir katenye sebagai single lagi katenya...

nerves? eh takdelah, menggelupur jeeee, ni takleh tido duk berpikir cemane la aku kawen nnt.

dalam sehari dua ni mood aku swing tahap everest. ye, sebab penat gi ke sane ke mari distribute kad bagai.

pastu beli itu ini, mental aku lemah jap, duit berduyun kuar dengan meriah.

ok konsep kawen aku adelah kebahagiaan tetamu, jd kalau tgok muke pengantin cam ala-ala je, kire kene konsep dah tu. hahahahah. padahal nan hado, cakap je la x mampu nk buat grand.

aish korang tak baik bfikir jahat tau, actually kputusan tanak buat meriah terlajak perahu boleh diundur, adelah kerana menghormati keadaan abah yg masih sakit.

sekali abah tanya, sebab ape tak buat pelamin yu.. tak ke haru di situ. mule la hati terusik balik nk buat pelamin pastu mak cik, kakak, mak cakap tak payah la.

masuk giliran dopot- saya tak nak pelamin. ok, baik diam saje bile dopot dh kate gitu. sebab nya takkan aku nak bersanding sorangggg. muahahaha.. dopot cakap tak suka sgt jd center of attention. ok itu pendapat dopot n because aku nak kawen dgn dia, bukan org lain, toleransi sgt aku utamakan.

walhal merajuk jugak la memula. tp pas die explain2, ok, there are things yg x merugikan aku pun. so far, mak aku pun okay, aku berganda jadi okay. pffttttt.

lately, dopot trying to be as matured as he can, dia bersabar gile dengan amukan puaka aku sebab kdg2 stress kan pikir eh ok ke camni, eh ok ke camtu. pastu cam gabra2 takot x sesuai itu ini. majlis kecik je tp sbb ni kan keje kawen first time noks, mau x gabra.

pukul 2 mengamuk, pukul 2.05 buat2 xde ape2 blaku. haa gittew kekdahnya. aku syak aku nerves nk kawen. hahaaha. bijak kan alasan. mak cik ada datang rumah tanya psiapan. sayaangg mak sedara aku tu. she is very caring. thanks mok mah.

oh ye, lusa dopot dah nak balik terengganu. mak happy mak happy. noks dah 3-4 bulan x ketemu dopot, adekah makin gemok. tapi aku rasa happy tu kejap je, sambung nerbes plak. hahaha. mcm xde keje lain.

ok because this is a personal blog, jd aku mohon anyone yg tbace, pls doakan aku, aku x mtak lebih, mtk berkat dan gembire je sume org. xpe x grand pon, xpe x gah mcm org lain tp asal org dtg dan pulang dgn snyum dah ckup, smbil doakan kbahagiaan kami.

ok byee!

doa

dalam hidup ni 

ada banyak fasa.

cuma aku berharap fasa kesusahan orang yang paling aku sayang tu akan berkurang.

mom, please wait. I will make you happier without having anything to think of other than Allah, abah, and yourself.

this is a promise

rojak

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

bumi mesir bergolak, jom kita doakan mereka. aku tak nak cakap banyak pasal ni, yang aku tau sedih aku tengok nasib mereka.

amin, semoga bahagia milikmu seluruh saudara islamku.

so far, dalam 2-3 hari ni my life quite stressful. ada konflik dalaman sikit. plus kat rumah ada banyak hal nak settle. mujur parents sangat baik dan memahami. nak2 mak aku la. memang tak yah puji dah bab tu kan?

mak aku baik gile. seriously. memo pulak makin dekat aku nak kawen ni, bila dimandi dah tak mengamuk dh. redha je kene simbah2 air. kalo dulu bdarah abis tgn aku. siap pesan lg kt die

" mo, jangan cakar tangan kak ayu...nak kawengg ni"

haha, kdg2 mcm bodo pun ade aku ni. tapi takpe, ngan kuceng aku je pong aku layan cmtu.

tapi reti bahasa plak si memo tak cakar tgn aku. kalo die cakar maunye aku selam dia dalam baldi. hahaha.

aku nak g kenduri kendara jap agi. abah aku cam biase la, suh aku bawak memo skali.

hahaha, perli aku lettewww. 

oklah got to go, xde ape pon nak cerita, just spend masa sket kt behlog neh. muahaha