bodoh

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

aku sebenarnya tak faham kalau sikap penting diri ni jenis yang di tonjol-tonjol.

dimaafkan la kalau dalam hati je.

tapi ni,

sampai menyusahkan orang lain.

orang sibuk nak kahwin, kau nak sibuk dengan majlis kau.

bodoh ke ape?

tak pikir menyusahkan mak bapak.

pikir ikut hati gf kau aje.

tak pikir mak bapak pening hal lain.

nak jugak paksa-paksa.

susah bertuhankan awek ni. 

awek pulak stok bajet pandai kan.

queck queck

ok ni quick entry sbb nk bg nenek makan jap gi.

this guy, a friend of mine yg dpt tpm jugak. dia dpt Iran. tapi budak engineering.

so far he got prob with application, kerenah birokrasi whatsoever.

I m helping him go through everything sampai every email dia pun I have to check.

pity him, semoga dia dapat sambung Iran tu.

btw, It's dopot who taught me how to deal with the university that I will enroll.

oh dopot, saya mesti buat something yang baik di masa lepas till I have lelaki sebaik kamu.

rilekk brader, brader rilekkk.. hahahah gile btol.

k bye.

missing you

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

seminggu dua ni dopot sgt busy.

dah begini gaye nye si dopot... kikiki

tapi tak ape, biarkan dopot dan dunia nya..

sekarang nenek aku stay sekali kt rumah. so sometimes ada jugak benda aku nak kene tolong mak aku.

yela since my father still dont have ability to move himself.

nenek aku pun sakit juga. tpi still bole gerak cuma nak jalan tu susah sikit.

mak aku cakap, murah rezeki bila kita jaga orang sakit ni.

Insya Allah, mi..

tapi semua ni buat aku terfikir..once kita dah tua kan.. bila kita dah tak ada ability nak buat apa-apa, betapa kita bersyukur dengan kesihatan yg Allah bagi..

ok off topic pasal tu. skang aku layan cite missing you, korean drama.

best gile. aku ni susah betul kalo nk rate2 drama ni. mcm susah nk masuk ngan sesuatu drama tu.

susah nak cakap, eh bestnye cite ni. kecuali betul2 menarik hati aku.

mcm akak aku selalu kate humor sense aku teruk sket. haha. bkan setakat humor sense, sense2 lain pun teruk if tgok2 cerita la.

aku mcm slow bila tgok rancangan lawak. org gelak2, aku x gelak lg. org nangis2, aku x nangis lg.

serius slow. haha. tapi cerita ni fuhhh, mmg meraung2 aku. hahaha. sedih oke.

kalo nak tgok ni ha link dia... pakat2 tgok la ye..

heroin dia yang princess hour ngan coffee prince tu.

kalau nak tgok yang HD n best punye, tgok kt www.maaduu.com je la yek.

ok bye!

ease me, please..

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

dulu - dulu aku selalu sembang dengan mi (my mummy)

mi: ayu kalo mi dah tak ada macam mana ayu ye. abg sa dengan kak tini dah ada family sendiri. pali tu lelaki bole bawa diri. tapi ayu perempuan.

aku: mi kalo mi tak ada, ayu terjun kubo sekali.

mi: cukup amalan dah ke nak terjun kubo tu? kihkihkih.

p/s: I love my mi very much. sobsob...I dont want to leave her alone at home, Ya Allah...

I let you go, forever.

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

that day, during Ramadhan, september 2008.

I clearly remember. the baju kurung I wore.

the lecture hall I was in.

I got a msg - " I am breaking up with you"

that was the hardest moment I felt in life.

my bf that time left me after few days we fought and never discuss.never.

I didnt know what is the real reason why he left. Eventhough, things happened after 5 years. I can still feel the pain inside my heart. 

not because I still love him, tapi, I can still happen to feel the pain.

that day, selera nak berbuka hilang, I just drink plain water. no foods. at all.

I just slept on my bed, while my roomates break fast all together.

I have no idea what should I do. Should I go for him? yes? no?

I nearly wanted to take pills. to ease everything inside my head.

I told him (so stupid of me) , I was taking pills and I wanted to die. he just replied - dont do it.

that night I called his mom, telling her, I cannot accept him leaving me. yes, I did a mistake.

while talking to his mom, phone ran out of credit. then terputus macam tu aje.

his mom felt very shocked that time. not knowing anak dia ada gf.

yes, I took me half year to heal everything. to stop crying.

aku merayu like a crazy girl, please dont let me go. but he didnt say a word.

I told him, please remember all the kind things I have done to you.

then he replied - I never ask you to do that.

yes, I was suffer before. and today I accept it dengan hati yang terbuka.

this is how I learnt to love with self respect. this guy is now a teacher. got a new gf.

and, the memory, the pain is still with me. 

and now, 1 month left before I am getting married to someone who taught me,

how to forget and forgive.

competition

aku dan masa adalah dua benda yang selalu bersaing.

aku tak boleh biar masa mengatasi aku.

tidur banyak takpe, tapi jangan duduk tanpa fikir apa-apa.

this is not me. 

so not me.

gaduh

ASSALAMUALAIKUM

there goes my puasa- writing blog. wee :D

actually I dont have enaf sleep, enaf said. mata tak ngantuk, ye la, setan kene kurung kan.

cakap hal setan kene kurung ni. 

do you ever fight with your partner? I mean in your relationship.

mesti pernah kan.

ada cara yang berbeza-beza.

even aku tak reveal sgt psl ni, tapi baik aku tulis kot nanti bila tbace blog ni tau la jgk aku penah tulis psl ni.

haha, motif sgt.

aku n dopot biasanya jarang gaduh besar (read: jarang not never ok)

biasanya both bila gaduh akan cuba lari jauh dari satu sama lain sejauh-jauhnya.

dopot penah cakap supaya dapat elak kami keluarkan kata2 tak baik bila marah.

biasanya aku la juara kalau bab bergaduh. well I m a girl, let me be a champion please.kehkeh.

tapi kdg2 stuck, x dpt lari jauh. kalau on the phone tgh gaduh tu, xkan nk letak kan. sekali pulak pihak sebelah sana menjawab. so ape lg, sini sana jawab mmg crack la.

biasanya kalau gaduh-gaduh biasa, dopot akan mintak letak phone dulu. rilek dulu sehari baru dia call.

aku pulak, if marah betul, 3-4 ari aku senyap je. sbb stok2 rebel ni kalau selagi tak puas hati bek toksah bercakap, bahaya. aku susah sikit kalau dh terluka tu pyh sikit nk heal.

dopot pulak, ok after 1 day, ok la, dia dah tak cari gaduh tapiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, dia buat prangai gila mcm cakap nak tak nak dalam seminggu camtu.

tp so far it goes well, cuma satu je, nak gaduh jgn duk dekat. that's what I learn. what dopot learn, wallahualam.

hihihih, okla bye.